A Compliance Officer's "Night Before Christmas"
It's the holidays! We hope that this compliance-themed holiday poem brings you joy and good cheer this season. We present, '"Twas the Monday before Christmas..."
It's the Monday morning before Christmas, Christmas Eve, and your bank is quiet. The only person hard at work is you, the Compliance Officer. It's not unlike many other days this year where you've found yourself burning the proverbial midnight oil as your colleagues exit with a "Take it easy!" and "See you tomorrow!"
It's the holidays, and while you want to be at home curled up by the fireplace or spending time with the family, there's a compliance exam in just a few weeks. You go to the break room and, feeling festive, opt for a hot chocolate with marshmallows over the usual black coffee.But today's a little different.
As you inhale the sweet aroma and try to get into the holiday spirit, you think to yourself, "Now would be a great time for a compliance miracle..."
'Twas the Monday before Christmas, when all through the bank
Not a teller was stirring, the ledgers were blank;
The stockings were hung by the front desk with care,
In hopes that big bonuses soon would be there;
The Board members were nestled all snug in their beds,
While projections of profits danced in their heads;
The VPs in their scarves, covered in snowflakes,
Had just settled in for a short winter's break,
When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
To the window I flew and pulled up the blinds,
Gazing out, I wiped the legalese from my mind.
The moon shining brightly new-fallen snow
Gave the brilliance of mid-day to the landscape below,
When, what to my HMDA-blurred eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and nine tiny reindeer,
And then, in a jiffy, I heard on the roof's shingles,
The tapping of hooves and a sleigh bell's jingles.
As I let down the blinds, and was turning around,
Through the front doors St. Nicholas came with a bound.
A bunch of good loans he held out in his hand,
And a complete risk assessment, the best in the land,
His eyes twinkled brightly, while his little round belly,
Shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly;
He went desk-by-desk, even to the President's,
Filling all the stockings; leaving many presents,
Finally waving a hand, and a smile to me,
He walked outside, and I followed him to see;
Branches swayed as the wind gusted quickly,
And the moon glowed so brightly, almost magically.
I knew in that moment that all would be well.
The examiners would surely be under his kind spell.
As he sprang to his sleigh, petting gently his deer,
And away they all flew, full of good cheer.
But I heard him exclaim, before he flew out of sight,
"Happy Compliance to You, and to All a Good Night!"
We hope that you enjoyed this fun, and goofy, compliance-themed version of the famous Christmas poem, "A Visit From St. Nicholas." (You may remember that we published this last year for the first time, but we've updated it with a new stanza and some other small additions - hopefully you like them.) If it brought a small smile to your face, it accomplished its goal. Just be glad we didn't record a festive reading to go along with it!
Happy Holidays to all of our friends, colleagues, customers, and partners!